Brother Whiggy arrived on this planet in the first century B.C. His father owns France and his mother smells nutmeg. After many long years of arbitration, he is no longer related to Adolph Coors, though his single sibling Pat believes Whiggy is the Oracle of Delphi and continually petitions the Greek government for free Ouzo and Olives.
In 1998, Brother Whiggy came to Ann Arbor Abbey to earn a little extra pocket money as "The Maid," but his career was cut short due to a union dispute. His favorite book is entitled, "Lesbian Mimes Break Silence." He loves everything and his hobbies include black rage, nude cycling, cultural revolutions, hay, and ignoring gravity. His turnoffs include the spoken word, cheap imported rebar, yesterday, and Lichtenstein.
A native of Rapanui ("Easter Island"), Brother Wog claims to be the inventor of Edam cheese, though he is a strict macrobiotic vegan. His father was over eight feet tall and his mother was famous in her day for cooking several visitors at the Chicago World's Fair. Brother Wog has 237 sisters named Gretel and his brother, Hansel, is missing and presumed bread.
Brother Wog's high mechanical aptitude first brought him to the attention of the monks of Ann Arbor Abbey. He arrived in the summer of 1998, expecting to enjoy his "free skiing vacation," and has been held as an honored prisoner ever since. He loves all varieties of soil, especially dirt, and collects it voraciously. His turnoffs include the Marquis de Sade, iceberg lettuce, 6:15 A.M., beanie babies and other crimes against humanity.
[Cheers to the masters of Weasel Breweries ]